septiembre 24, 2006
In einer dunklen Stunde,
ach, alle Stunden sind dunkel hier.
Aus einem Becher
von zartestem Flieder trinken wir Tee allein mit mir.
My name is BROKEN CHALICE
and leaden I am filled all the way up to the brim;
filled with sadness, and with misery, and the most terrible of things.
Very soon I might overflow I fear, as I am filled with so much anger
and far too many tears
These words come from the depth of my discontent,
to testify to you of the displeasure that I harbour against the world;
- and therefore myself.
Hush, here lies truth, sweet child,
in all its obvious simplicity.
A long time ago; it seems;
the boy has come to an agreement with himself,
to remain in this wretched life for as long as it hasn reached
the point of becoming totally; unbearable.
Yes, he was prepared to tolerate the bleakness of all things,
of darkness, even nothingness itself,
all of this perhaps only to prove that life really isn't worth an effort,
that an early VOLUNTARY DEATH is absolutely ALWAYS justified.
Yes, I DO confess.
I have a secret wish: I often dream of dying,
to dissolve completely,
to simply vanish,
so that nothing, not a single grain, would ever remain of me.
No spark, no energy, no further existence for me, but most of all:
NO REBIRTH !!!
if I had this chance,
how free from worries could I be,
if I only had this ONE guarantee that there would be NO MORE tomorrows
lying in wait for me
There are so many little dyings that it doesn't matter which of them is death.